How to look forward to what we have

key thoughts on millennial’s biggest mistakes — including my own

When a burst of good things feels just as disorienting as a burst of bad things, you gain perspective” — I know it may sound cliche but the truth is that the sentence you just read above is the sole responsible for me to write this in the first place.

Often we feel burned out. No news there. We continuously aim and hope for relief of any kind, that being our 20 or so days of paid holidays out of the 252 that we work, a visit to the spa, video-games, whatever. The truth is, most of the time it just comes down to money. How many times have you wondered the things you would do if you win the lottery? I guess it’s close to the amount of times you wished you had x amount of money — ultimately, to have more than you have now and surprisingly this is equally true for moments, appearances, status and goals — We fear that we might not remember “now” so we focus on tomorrow as an alternative reality and we live in it instead of valuing “this” moment for its uniqueness.

The problem is that we try to make things happen all the time and if we don’t, we feel extremely pressured to show life and others that we are not stagnating. It honestly feels like we are always in a competition . But with whom I ask. If this is our reality, then, how could we truly enjoy it.

Fundamentally, contrary to popular belief, to focus on right now is not to look for things to provide us happiness in “this” moment but rather to look forward to what we have.

As I am writing this I am waiting for my food at a restaurant and although it’s loud I promised myself not to put on earphones, not to move tables even though someone is smoking in my direction. Ultimately today I decided not to deprive myself from this moment, I will enjoy it for what it is.

To “keep yourself busy they say” is the key to feeling good. To “feel useful” is what we should aim for. Is It? I find it hard to believe that we could ever sustain ongoing Happiness from solely providing the former to others and putting ourselves second.

My advice always tends to be to surprise yourself instead. I will give you a small and bigger example of this. Starting with the small one. For instance if I feel like I am having a bad day I try to think and do things that feel unlike myself. Things I would not necessarily consider daily. The other day for example I was home alone, not feeling the greatest and I decided to go outside, it happens that I had some new clothes that I hadn’t tried at the time so I just thought it was a good excuse to get up, to have a shower and leave, but that is not how I surprised myself. Then, as I was walking and staring at the river I felt like the day got a little better, and again, unlike myself I decided to go out for dinner, by myself. This is not something I normally do. You see, this allowed me to think about things that I don’t normally think, to see and appreciate many other details that I don’t necessarily look at. Fundamentally I kind of got out of my comfort zone by simply surprising myself with something otherwise quite mundane. I have grown to learn that we will never ever be complete, we will always question who we are and believe it or not what we think we stand for. We’ll adapt and change over time. Don’t you worry now, because that is the beauty of living -accepting our uniqueness and our ever changing environment for what it is.

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